When we do not feel safe as children, we adapt to survive, however, we become disconnected with our authentic self. As adults, this affects our relationship with ourselves and with others. We can become connected with our bodies and our emotions as we begin to seek healing and do not have to stay stuck in the effects of relationship trauma of the past. Important to notice signs of disconnection from yourself.
You may have broken ties or moved far away, but the ache of that parental bond still lives inside. There’s a way to heal what they could never give — by discovering who you truly are, beneath the trauma.
.When your emotional needs were overlooked as a child, you may have learned to doubt yourself, avoid mistakes at all costs, or freeze in fear of disapproval. This kind of emotional neglect often shows up later in life as procrastination, perfectionism, and self-criticism. In this post, I explore how emotional neglect and procrastination are connected — and how healing begins when you learn to honor your feelings and trust yourself again.
When your emotional needs were ignored or dismissed growing up, you may find yourself feeling “too much” in relationships — always longing for reassurance and connection. In this post, I explore how childhood neglect can lead to emotional neediness in adulthood, and how therapy can help you heal and feel secure in yourself and your relationships.
The way that we learn to connect with others in our relationships is called “attachment style” .Our parents and caregivers play a crucial role i the style of “attachment'‘ we develop.. When as children those adults who are closest are unable to nurture us and be responsive to our needs then in order to survive we often “shut down” emotionally. An“avoidant attachment style” develops as a survival response to fear,, anxiety and feelings of rejection and abandonment.as there is a lack of a secure connection and trust.
.When your emotional needs were overlooked as a child, you may have learned to doubt yourself, avoid mistakes at all costs, or freeze in fear of disapproval. This kind of emotional neglect often shows up later in life as procrastination, perfectionism, and self-criticism. In this post, I explore how emotional neglect and procrastination are connected — and how healing begins when you learn to honor your feelings and trust yourself again.
When your emotional needs were ignored or dismissed growing up, you may find yourself feeling “too much” in relationships — always longing for reassurance and connection. In this post, I explore how childhood neglect can lead to emotional neediness in adulthood, and how therapy can help you heal and feel secure in yourself and your relationships.
A painful breakup truly is “Relational Trauma” .You feel overwhelmed with so many conflicting emotions and they may change minute to minute or day to day. Important to remember that healing is a process and you are “going through the fire and coming out gold”. It is essential as you grieve that you also increase your level of self-care and that includes slowing down so you can give yourself the attention you so desperately need as you go through this very painful season of your life. Important not to make any important decisions during this time or to start a “new” relationship in an attempt to not feel your pain. This would not be wise as you need time to rest and recover so that you can learn whatever is needed for you to learn about yourself and your “true” value and that your wounds of the past do not control your future…this will take time and patience so that those wounds can heal and not run your life
Enmeshed relationships are relationships that are overly close and lack boundaries and fueled by manipulation and control.:one person is there to satisfy the needs of the other and the other person’s needs are completely ignored .... The relationship is also fueled by inappropriate guilt and forced obligataion. Helicopter parenting often is the precursor of enmeshment and is directly correlated with anxiety and depression in chiildren and as they grow into adulthood.Helicopter parents who overly supervise and are mainly concerned about behavior and not the emotional needs of their child. often are planting the seeds of enmeshment to harvest.. Enmeshed relationships during childhood do not allow for healthy developmental progress to take place and children are set up for developmental trauma as an effect .Often this dysfunctional pattern which started in childhood is repeated in adult relationships as it is familiar and what is familiar is what the brain repeats until we lern new and healthier ways to relate to ourselves and others.
Has work addiction become your drug of choice? It is an addiction that is nurtured by the culture and often celebrated as a “part of success”. However, the truth is that work addiction like any other addiction is fueled and rooted in unresolved trauma. and is progressive and terminal when not addressed. You may have not noticed the toxic effects of work addiction until the effects begin to control your life and mind,spirit, body. Like any drug addict when you are taking the drug you feel good but then over time you need more and more to get that same feeling and the consequences become more and more clear.Work addiction effects every area of your life and relationships require for you to show up and truly be present. This has been one of the greatest challenges for so many of my “highly successful” work-addicted clients and has motivated them to seek therapy .
One of the most essential areas for you to not neglect yourself in: is giving attention to your emotional and mental health….in other words giving attention to your unhealed trauma wounds. You may not even be fully conscious that you have developed a pattern of “neglecting yourself” as you very likely are taking care of the “outside” and yet neglecting what is going on inside of you. We live from the inside out so when you neglect your inner world there are many consequences both inside and out..Our mind and our bodies work together and there are physical symptoms when emotions and memories get stuck in our bodies. The wonderful thing is that you can now choose to walk through an open door so you can heal and no longer avoid and move forward!
Healing can only take place when we are calm. Fearful thoughts block the healing process and nurture feelings of anxiety as you most likely can notice by now.. It is like eating toxic food that cannot nourish you in any way but actually hurts you and makes you feel sick.. What you think and what you say make a great difference to your overall mental health and state of mind. So what are you feasting these on days is my question to you: is it gloom and doom, toxic relationships, catastrophizing, making mountains out of molehills, bad news reports online and on TV? Are you murmuring and complaining and wondering why you feel so alone and disconnected from yourself and others? Help and hope are on the way so do not give up!
The way that we learn to connect with others in our relationships is called “attachment style” .Our parents and caregivers play a crucial role i the style of “attachment'‘ we develop.. When as children those adults who are closest are unable to nurture us and be responsive to our needs then in order to survive we often “shut down” emotionally. An“avoidant attachment style” develops as a survival response to fear,, anxiety and feelings of rejection and abandonment.as there is a lack of a secure connection and trust.
