HOW TRAUMA CAN BE A SETUP FOR STRUGGLES WITH TRUST

Were you betrayed by those you trusted most?

We are most helpless and vulnerable as infants and children as well as completely dependent on our caregivers for support and nurturance. We are in essence “little hostages” as we have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide and “no voice”. If we are in a family where our caregivers are emotionally and spiritually attuned to our needs then we have received the foundational building blocks for trust. in relationships and to know what it is like to feel safe.

When we are loved and nurtured then we experience that we can let others be close to us as they can be trusted and that we are “safe’ and “lovable”. However if you were not nurtured and given the attention and time, and love that is so essential in order to develop a “secure attachment relationship” then you may very likely have difficulties knowing and believing you are lovable and difficulties assessing who is “safe and trustworthy as well as doubt yourself”.

As an effect of early trauma, you may now have developed a pattern where you have experienced painful relationships with those closest to you and who did not “deserve your trust as it was familiar but not healthy and now you are “reinjured”

THE DEEP WOUNDING OF BETRAYAL TRAUMA IN RELATIONSHIP

When betrayal occurs in a relationship, it can inflict a wound so deep that it seems to rewrite the narrative of our connections with others. The initial shock may swiftly give way to an overwhelming emotional storm, where sadness and despair intertwine with intense anger and resentment. You may feel as though the very ground beneath your feet has crumbled away, leaving you in a chasm of uncertainty. The person you thought you could trust has shattered your faith, creating a rift that feels insurmountable.

In the aftermath, feelings of confusion often dominate your thoughts. You may replay events in your mind, searching for clues that you missed, trying to understand how someone you cared for could inflict such pain. This psychological turmoil can lead to self-doubt, making you question your judgment, your worth, and your ability to foster connections. Each memory triggers a fresh wave of grief, as the loss of what you once had weighs heavily on your heart.

As days turn into weeks, the rawness of betrayal does not simply fade. Instead, it complicates your emotional landscape. You may oscillate between wanting to confront the betrayer, seeking closure and validation, and retreating into isolation to protect your already wounded heart. Anger can surface at unexpected moments, directed not only toward the other person but also at yourself for allowing vulnerability in the first place. This internal conflict perpetuates a cycle of sorrow and frustration, making it hard to envision a path forward.

Yet, as challenging as this journey is, it’s crucial to acknowledge that healing is an personal process, shaped by your unique experiences and emotional responses. It takes time to process the complex layers of grief and anger that betrayal unleashes. Allowing yourself to feel and express these emotions is a vital step toward rebuilding a sense of self. Reconstructing trust—first in yourself and then in others—requires patience and intentionality. It can feel daunting, but with each small step you take, you pave the way for a renewed understanding of your own needs and boundaries.

Remember that your emotions are valid and deserving of recognition. Engaging with a counselor or support system can provide valuable tools to navigate this tumultuous emotional terrain. Ultimately, while betrayal may leave scars, it can also illuminate important lessons that lead to deeper connections. As you allow the healing process to unfold, you may emerge not only stronger but with a richer understanding of what you seek in your relationships moving forward.

YOUR HEART NEEDS TO HEAL

Healing from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal journey that requires time, introspection, and support. This process often begins with acknowledging the emotional pain and confusion that betrayal brings. It may involve navigating feelings of anger, sadness, and loss of trust, which can feel overwhelming. Individuals may find it helpful to explore their thoughts and emotions in a safe environment, allowing them to process their experiences gradually.

It seems like there might have been a mistake in your prompt, as it appears incomplete. Please provide more specific details or a topic you'd like me to write about, and I would be happy to help. Building a support system, through therapy and trusted friends and family, plays a crucial role in this healing process. As one works through the complexities of betrayal, they may come to understand their own boundaries, enhance their self-worth, and gradually learn to trust again, not only others but also themselves. This journey, though difficult, can lead to profound personal growth and resilienceHealing from a betrayal wound involves a multifaceted journey of rebuilding trust, both in oneself and in others.

It starts with acknowledging the hurt and allowing oneself to feel the range of emotions that accompany betrayal, such as anger, sadness, and confusion. Processing these feelings in a safe environment can help individuals gain clarity and perspective. As time passes, it's important to focus on self-care and to establish boundaries that protect one’s emotional well-being. This healing also includes open communication, whether it's expressing feelings to the person who caused the hurt. as well as working through the healing process in therapy. Ultimately, the goal is to cultivate forgiveness—not necessarily for the betrayer, but for oneself to reclaim a sense of peace and to move forward with resilience.

TRUST IS TO BE “EARNED”

Feeling good with someone does not mean that they are worthy of your trust. If you are in a lonely and needy place you may give your gift of trust to someone who does not earn it or deserve it. Take your time as you may have heard “fools rush in” and this is so important(Especially as a trauma survivor that needs to heal) as you learn to set boundaries and limits and understand that “everything is not for everybody” It is essential that you learn how to “discern” who you can trust and therapy can be extremely beneficial so that you develop discernment and make wise choices in the future!

THERAPY WITH “THE RIGHT THERAPIST” CAN HELP YOU TO HEAL AND BE ABLE TO “TRUST”

The main foundation of therapy is the collaborative relationship we will develop over time that will help you to heal from your past wounds. You can begin to become more self aware as well as learn how to “discern'“ whether or not it is “safe” for you to trust and to forgive yourself for your past lack of “discernment” as was not your fault! . I would be honored to walk alongside of you on this amazing transformative healing journey so please give me a call so we can get started!