When we do not feel safe as children, we adapt to survive, however, we become disconnected with our authentic self. As adults, this affects our relationship with ourselves and with others. We can become connected with our bodies and our emotions as we begin to seek healing and do not have to stay stuck in the effects of relationship trauma of the past. Important to notice signs of disconnection from yourself.
You may have broken ties or moved far away, but the ache of that parental bond still lives inside. There’s a way to heal what they could never give — by discovering who you truly are, beneath the trauma.
When we are emotionally neglected as children our nervous system does the best it can to go into survival mode in an atttempt to protect us ... Since we are completely dependent and vulnerable and unable to “fight or flee” so we go into“freeze” response where we are numb and emotionally shut down in an attempt to not feel our fear and our pain. When no one hears or listens to our “cry” we lose hope as our emotional needs are not noticed or given attention and we feel like we do not exist..Over time our “little child” part gets more frozen and “stuck” and has difficulty moving forward and begins to internalize the emotional neglect and we as adults then begin to neglect ourselves emotionally and due to lack of hope and feelings of helplessness develop a pattern of procrastination and the root is “childhood emotional neglect”.
When we were the most vulnerable and dependent and “emotionally needy(”as we all have been as children )it can feel like a cry deep in our soul when no one hears or seems to care about us. Our mind, will and emotions are what define our soul. For many of us who have been “ traumatically wounded” in childhood: the message we received was that we will not have our emotional reality nurtured or have anyone who can help us to process our emotions in a” healthy” way. You may be becoming more and more aware and of the consequences that are affecting your self-esteem and your relationships as the“little boy or girl part” got stuck in a pattern of “emotional neediness” that needs to be healed so you can move on with hope and start to. understand what is going on inside of you emotionally physically: and spiritually. You may have stuffed your emotions and are now becoming more aware of the consequences related to your childhood trauma.
The way that we learn to connect with others in our relationships is called “attachment style” .Our parents and caregivers play a crucial role i the style of “attachment'‘ we develop.. When as children those adults who are closest are unable to nurture us and be responsive to our needs then in order to survive we often “shut down” emotionally. An“avoidant attachment style” develops as a survival response to fear,, anxiety and feelings of rejection and abandonment.as there is a lack of a secure connection and trust.
So many men carry a quiet ache—a longing for the father they never had. Whether your father was emotionally absent, critical, or simply unable to connect, the impact runs deep. This post explores the hidden wounds of sons, the relationship trauma it creates, and how true healing begins when you're safe, seen, heard, and felt.
Anxiety and calm may seem like opposites, but they often live side by side in the human heart. Anxiety is not a flaw—it’s a cry for connection, a sign that something deep within you is longing to be held with care. So many people walk through life silently carrying fear, self-doubt, and shame, believing they must do it all alone. But healing begins the moment you let someone in. Therapy is a sacred space where the noise quiets, your truth is honored, and you begin to remember who you are beneath the fear.
Even in the most overwhelming seasons when grief suffocates, when shame silences, when God seems so absent-there is a deeper truth: the light has not gone out. You may feel lost in confusion, depression, or heartache, but scripture reminds us:” the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”
Divorce for women in midlife in NYC is a profound emotional shift that can leave you feeling confused, anxious, or unsure of who you are without your relationship. The trauma of separation and grief that often follows needs attention so you can begin to heal from the inside out. I would be honored to help you reclaim your identity and inner voice!
Midlife can feel like you are losing your sense of self, but it can also be a powerful turning point.It is a time to let go of who you used to be and gently connect with who you are becoming. If you are a woman in NYC navigating this transition, therapy can help you to feel seen, heard, and felt as well as grounded and whole again.
Are you a daughter who has been deeply wounded by your relationship with your father? Are you noticing and feeling the impact of this wound in your relationships and how you learned to feel negatively about yourself? Are you struggling with trusting yourself and others? Do you often feel you are not enough and keep the relationship bar low as that is familiar?
