EMOTIONAL NEGLECT AND EMOTIONAL NEEDINESS CONNECTION

You very likely have been feeling “emotionally needy” and “emotionally neglected” for most of your life and have not been able to identify what “emotional neediness” actually is. I will do my best to help you identify this pattern which is rooted in “: emotional neglect” ” and most often a history of trauma: “abuse, neglect, and abandonment” You may have spent most of your life emotionally neglecting yourself . You may have attempted to do your best to soothe or avoid this “wounded part” but avoiding this “wound” only contributes to it festering and running your life rather than “healing”. You may have become accustomed to denying or avoiding or trying to soothe yourself in ways that harm you ((addictions: alcohol, drugs, food, relationships, porn) You may struggle with boundaries and being “clingy’ as well as anxiety and depression..

You also are having difficulties with self-acceptance and a critical inner voice that is entrenched in shaming and blaming.. Guilt is:” I made a mistake” and shame is:” I am a mistake”. See: Adult Pain of Childhood Emotional Abuse”

Your history of choices can tell you alot about how you have had extremely low expectations for yourself and how the quality of your relationships reflect that. The following are ways you can begin to “Identify Emotional Neediness” in yourself and in others that you may be in a relationship with. Identifying this pattern will help you to become more “self-aware” and that is a first step that is essential in your healing! See: “Signs You Do Not Value Yourself”

LACK OF BOUNDARIES

“Emotional Neediness” is frequently seen when relationships are unstable and chaotic and there is a lack of boundaries and limit setting. You may struggle with “oversharing” as well as “impulsively” forming relationships based on your “emotional neediness” and the consequences of this have greatly affected how you feel about yourself as well as your choices of relationships. This dynamic can become a pattern over time as it is repeated and can fuel ” emotional blindness” and is fueled by the child part of you that feels so “needy” and the “adult part” starts to take a back seat and let the child drive, rather than the “adult part” taking control and making wise decisions. You may have never had your boundaries honored or respected as a child and now you may not know how to protect and honor yourself by setting “boundaries”.

Boundaries are there for your protection so that no one has the right to intrude on you or come closer emotionally, or physically, or spiritually without your permission. Your “voice” and your words is an essential part of. setting boundaries and as well setting “limits”. Boundaries are a big part of you learning how not to neglect yourself! See:”How To Stop Being A Doormat”

BELIEVING THAT CRUMBS ARE ENOUGH

You may have become so accustomed to eating “emotional crumbs” or “the junk food of life in other words the crapola” that over time you started to believe that “emotional crumbs” are good enough for you and you tolerated relationships where you were not honored or nurtured and yet were quite familiar.

As a child you had no choice who your parents were or how they treated you but now as an adult you do have a choice and what is “familiar” was “abuse and neglect” and yes it is familiar and yes it was toxic but now you can choose to no longer “neglect” yourself. You can tell how you feel about yourself by how you have “trained” others to treat you. When you go over your relationship history so important to remember you are the “common denominator” and you can begin to give yourself the attention that you so desperately need See:”Signs You Are Neglecting Yourself”

DISLIKING TO BE ALONE WITH YOURSELF/AVOIDING AND RUNNING FROM YOU

It is essential before you can be in a relationship with someone else and understand that your company is valued that you start to enjoy your own company and during this time you can also start to develop self-awareness/vulnerability/accountability.

Because you never felt your parents celebrated or enjoyed your presence and that you were just a burden or an obligation but now you can reinterpret that belief and start to nurture yourself and one way is to spend time with you so you can get to know yourself rather than avoid yourself. When you start to nurture and develop this relationship with yourself and learn to reparent yourself then you have begun your healing! See: ”Benefits Of Reparenting Yourself”

THE “RIGHT” NYC TRAUMA THERAPIST CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

I would love to walk with you on this amazing collaborative healing journey so that you are no longer in bondage to “emotional neediness” and learn how to regulate your nervous system rather than living at the effects of your “triggered” trauma wounds.”. Please call me so we can meet in person at my home office and begin to move forward as you give yourself the care and attention needed to break the cycle of emotional neediness and its consequences in your relationships.