WOUND OF BETRAYAL
Betrayal from a toxic father can leave deep emotional wounds for a daughter, often leading to a painful struggle with trust and self-worth. When a father, who is meant to be a pillar of support and unconditional love, instead acts in ways that are hurtful or neglectful, it can shatter a daughter's sense of safety and belonging.
The disappointment and confusion that arise can create a lasting impact, shaping your perceptions of relationships and your own identity. This experience may ignite feelings of anger, sadness, or even guilt, as she grapples with the dichotomy of love for a parent and the hurt he has caused. Healing from such a betrayal often requires not only acknowledging the pain but also finding pathways to rebuild trust—first within yourself and eventually with others. It's a journey that can lead to greater resilience and understanding, allowing her to redefine her sense of self away from the shadows of her father's actions.
WOUND OF REJECTION
When you were a little girl you were most vulnerable and had an “open heart” as you just wanted and needed to be loved and nurtured(you were totally dependent on your caregivers for your survival) but when a daughter is “rejected” and wounded by her father during childhood than a “wound of rejection” begins to be sown in the tapestry of her soul/spirit and is reflected in her life and how she views and experiences and feels about herself and about others(particularly her view of men) As when we are abused as daughters by our fathers we were not able to flee and not able to fight as our very survival was in his hands and deep feelings of “fear” and “helplessness” and “shame”(as all of your anger was internalized and going toward you) were planted.
You were given the message that you were not safe “to be you” and now have shut down parts of yourself and those parts have become “frozen” in an attempt for you to survive as a “little hostage” who has been traumatized. You may now notice a pattern of how you are “rejecting yourself” as a part of you has become a “harsh inner critic” and you are having difficulty “asserting yourself” and “trusting your thoughts, feelings and perceptions about yourself and those close to you as well as it is difficult for you to give and receive love as if you are completely honest: you are having difficulties trusting anyone.
This can be extremely difficult if you are now a mother and struggling to connect with your own children truly but not able to because you never had a “secure attachment”. You were setup by those you trusted to “expect rejection” and now may surround yourself with those “who reject you” and “abuse you” rather than “celebrate you” as “toxicity” is so familiar to you and has become normalized in your mind.. Your “fear of rejection” has kept you in a role where you are “eating crumbs”( in many areas of your life) and have convinced yourself to believe that “it is a cake” . … but it is “crumbs”.
Your choices and decisions are now all colored by your fear of rejection as the “little girl” part of you is traumatized and running your life(see “Ways TO Stop The Fear Of RejectiFrom Running Your Life”) and she needs ‘healing, loving and nurturance”. This can only happen as you become more aware of what is going on inside of you.
As you learn to become more kind and compassionate to yourself and understand that healing is a process and to get the help you so need to be able to heal and out of that you will develop courage as well patience and hope to go through the process!
ANGRY WITH GOD
Important to understand that the enemy plans to steal. kill and destroy as well as deceive us and lie and bring confusion so it is so essential for you to know the “TRUTH” that “you are loved and valuable” and He still has a plan for your life.
You may see God as the same as your toxic father and poor choices of men and have great difficulty trusting Him because of all you have been through. Your spiritual healing is not to be neglected anymore than your emotional healing. Am not talking about “religion” but a relationship with the one who made you and loves you and the “safest place is in His will” as yes He uses people in the process of your healing but He is the Healer! May you “hear His voice today and not harden your heart” to His love” as He loves you and wants to heal you everywhere you hurt!
DIFFICULTY TRUSTING IN RELATIONSHIPS
It can be incredibly challenging for you to navigate relationships when you have been deeply wounded and betrayed by a toxic father. The pain and confusion from such experiences often linger, impacting your ability to trust others.
You may find yourself questioning the intentions of those around you. This skepticism often arises from a past where your trust was violated, leading you to wonder if anyone can truly be dependable or honest. It’s normal to feel guarded, hesitating to let others in, fearing that they will ultimately let you down, just as your father did.
The emotional scars from a toxic relationship can create a persistent fear of vulnerability. You might worry that showing your true self will result in rejection or judgment, similar to past experiences. This fear can lead to avoidance of deeper connections, leaving you feeling isolated and alone.
Understanding your feelings is vital. It's okay to feel angry, sad, or betrayed. These emotions are valid responses to what you’ve endured. Acknowledging them is an important step in rebuilding your sense of trust. You may also struggle with feelings of inadequacy, questioning your worthiness of love and respect. This stems from the negative messages you may have internalized from your father, which can echo in your mind during moments of self-doubt.
Healing from this type of trauma takes time and is a personal journey. It’s essential to surround yourself with supportive, understanding caring people who respect your boundaries and encourage your growth. Consider exploring therapeutic avenues that allow you to process these experiences and develop healthier patterns of trust.
Remember, trusting others does not mean ignoring your past; rather, it means recognizing your strength in confronting it and allowing yourself the grace to build new, healthier relationships at your own pace. You are not alone in this process, and taking small steps toward trust can lead to meaningful and fulfilling connections in your life.
HEALING FOR THAT LITTLE GIRL PART
Healing the wounded little girl within you requires patience and compassion. It's essential to acknowledge the pain and hurt that stemmed from your experiences with a toxic father. You may carry feelings of abandonment, unworthiness, or fear, which can overshadow your sense of self. By gently nurturing that inner child, allowing her to express her feelings and validating her experiences, you create a safe space for healing. Remember, it’s okay to feel the sadness or anger she carries; these emotions are part of her story. Embrace her with love, letting her know she is not alone and that it's safe to reclaim her power.
Through this journey, you can learn to replace the negative beliefs instilled in you with a sense of love and acceptance, allowing for a more fulfilling relationship with yourself and others.
THERAPY WITH THE RIGHT NYC TRAUMA CAN BE BENEFICIAL
Therapy with a therapist that truly understands the journey of a daughter who was abused and traumatized on many levels by a toxic abusive father. A therapist who is skilled and knowledgeable as well as completely present. authentic, open hearted and able to “meet you where you are and help as well as guide you to move forward as you courageously become all you were “meant to be” on this “healing journey of life”.
Please give me a call if what I am saying resonates with you and you would like to know more about trauma therapy….. look forward to hearing from you!