Developing a secure attachment with your baby starts at birth. The emotional connection formed between you and your baby is what is called an attachment bond. It is based on the nonverbal communication between the parent and baby.. In order to have a secure attachment bond it is necessary for you to be sensitive and attuned to not just the physical needs of your baby but also your baby’s emotional needs. Your baby’s brain can then develop to begin to make healthy emotional connections and can then start to internalize what it feels like to feel “safe” and ‘loved” in his/her body. Your facial expression, your time and attention, your tone of voice, your emotional state, and your affectionate touch are important essential “building blocks” forming the foundation of your baby’s healthy emotional development. These essential elements can open the door to a secure attachment as your little precious one starts to grow.
The followings keys can help you as a parent to raise a securely attached child
Since trust is the main “building block” in secure attachment: it is so important for your child to know they can “unconditionally” count on you for comfort and attention. In order for your child to grow and have healthy relationships it is necessary to have a strong bond of trust with you as their parent. Your child needs to know that you are there when they are experiencing positive emotions or having a bad day..You need to be their “safe place” when they are scared and when they are not! “Time” and “play” will certainly help to build that “secure attachment bond”!
2. How you as a parent respond(and not “react”) to frustration will certainly affect your child. As I said before there are no perfect children or parents but being able to be sensitive to the verbal and nonverbal cues of your child can make all the difference. Firstly, you need to be calm. Healing can only take place when we are calm. Talk to your baby and give eye contact and affection not just picking up on physical cues. Helping your child to recognize what they are feeling and give them the words that are needed as you interpret their cues… It will be important that you hear their “cry” even if it is without a sound . So essential for your child to learn at an early age how to manage stress in a healthy way and that will take place with your guidance, love, and direction as you calmly put in words what your child is saying and feeling. An example is knowing when they are hungry, tired, sad, happy, hurting,etc. When a person is unable to recognize and articulate what is going on inside this builds frustration. Your role is to help your child learn at a young age how to understand what it is they are feeling.
3. You may have been “shamed” as a child and now is the time to notice how essential it is to not repeat that pattern. In order for your child to feel confident and loved then shaming has to not be part of the relationship: even when you are stressed as a parent. Then you need tp pause: and remember that” shaming” is emotional abuse. When a child is “shamed” the message is “it is not that I made a mistake but that I am a mistake” Do not focus on the behavior but on the root of what is fueling the behavior. Be patient with yourself as you are the main role model for your child.
THERAPY WITH THE “RIGHT”NYC THERAPIST IS ESSENTIAL
So important for you to have the “right” therapist as you develop a “secure attachment” with your precious child. I would be honored to walk along this journey with you and to guide you as you move forward.
Please give me a call so we can begin this amazing transformative journey!