LIVING FROM THE INSIDE-OUT
You have choices even when you may feel you do not. We live from the inside out and so what’s going on inside of us is much more important than the circumstances we are dealing with. Yes so much is out our control but we can choose to “respond rather than react”.
Our words are “spirit and life” so they have great power over your mood and your approach to yourself, others, and all parts of your life. If you continually speak “fear” and “failure” and believe the “bad report” you are programming your brain to continue to repeat that negative toxic and fearful pattern. However, if you start to be more conscious of your thought life and want to change it then you can stop agreeing with the “bad report” and reprogram your brain. How miraculous that our brains can be reprogrammed to no longer agree with letting fear be your prophet but that neuroplasticity of the brain can help heal you from the inside out. The following keys can make all the difference!
PROVERBS 15V4 “THE TONGUE THAT BRINGS HEALING IS A TREE OF LIFE”
The words we speak have power as they are “spirit and life”. So are you speaking and believing and prophesying words of life or words of death over yourself and others? Have you ever considered the truth that your tongue can become a tree of life for healing for yourself and others?
The thoughts and feelings that you have are often not what is actually true but can be distortions and lies so you need to discern what is true before you believe it and speak it out of your mouth or quietly to yourself—speaking Words of life over yourself instead of prophesying words of death and defeat. Words of life are encouraging and can greatly outweigh your walking in despair and gloom and doom.
See:” Speaking The Truth In Love”
CATASTROPHIZING FUELS FEAR
When we catastrophize we are keeping our nervous system in a constant state of being dysregulated.., a constant state of “high threat alert” In other words: you cannot stay calm or peaceful with a dysregulated nervous system that is accustomed to misreading the cues to what is dangerous and unable to regulate stress healthily. So the first step you need to take is to notice. You must become aware of how you cope with stress.
This pattern of escalating stress levels rather than learning how to manage your stress fuels catastrophizing and fuels depression, anxiety, and reinjury for trauma survivors.. Becoming aware of your breathing and sensations as your muscles can tighten and your heart can beat faster. Expecting a catastrophe keeps you on “high alert for a threat” and gives free rein for fear to prophesy and cause constant distress.
You may have found yourself in a cycle of negative thinking where one worry spirals into another, often leading to a rather chaotic emotional state. This pattern, known as catastrophizing, can make even small concerns feel all-consuming. When you focus on the worst possible outcomes, your mind amplifies the threat, intensifying your anxiety and making it difficult to find emotional balance.
Every time you imagine disaster lurking around the corner, your body reacts as though you are facing a genuine threat. This can lead to increased heart rate, tightening in your chest, or that feeling of dread that settles in your stomach. Even if the situations you’re imagining do not come to pass, your body doesn’t know that. It continues to react as if those fears are real. This puts you in a heightened state of alert—always prepared for the next crisis—rather than being able to find calm.
It’s important to recognize that catastrophizing is often linked to a lack of control. When you believe that things will inevitably go wrong, you can feel helpless, as if you are at the mercy of fate. This feeling of helplessness feeds back into your emotional dysregulation. You might struggle to manage your reactions, leading to frustration or sadness because the world feels overwhelming.
Breaking this cycle takes awareness and practice. You can start to challenge those catastrophic thoughts by examining the likelihood of your fears coming true and considering more balanced perspectives. Instead of projecting the worst-case scenario, you can seek out evidence that counters those fears and helps you regain a sense of control. By doing this, you can slowly shift away from a mindset of panic towards one of resilience, ultimately helping you find a greater sense of peace.
See: “How Negativity Is Stealing Your Life”
INSECURE CHILDHOOD ATTACHMENT AND “FEELING UNSAFE” AS AN ADULT
Insecure attachment formed in childhood can significantly affect your anxiety levels as an adult. As a child, your primary relationships, particularly with caregivers, lay the foundation for how you view yourself and the world around you. If your caregivers were inconsistent in their responsiveness—sometimes available and nurturing, other times neglectful or overly critical—you might not have learned to trust that you could rely on others for support. This unpredictability creates a sense of instability that can carry into adulthood.
When you grow up with insecure attachment, you might find yourself constantly questioning relationships and worrying about how others perceive you. This often manifests as anxiety in social situations or in intimate relationships. You may become hyper-vigilant, constantly scanning your environment for threats or signs of rejection, which can lead to overwhelming feelings of distress.
Additionally, if you were conditioned to believe that showing vulnerability was unsafe or unwise, you might struggle to express your feelings or needs later in life. This internalized fear of connection can lead to avoidance, pushing people away when you feel anxious instead of seeking comfort. The cycle of withdrawing can heighten your anxiety, creating a profound sense of loneliness and further reinforcing your insecurities.
In moments of stress, you might find it challenging to self-soothe or calm yourself, as the tools for emotional regulation were not established in your formative years. This can lead to heightened anxiety or panic when faced with challenges or when your relationships feel threatened. Everyday situations can become immensely overwhelming, and you might feel a looming sense of dread that is hard to shake off.
Understanding the roots of these feelings can be the first step in addressing them. It might involve reassessing your beliefs about yourself and your relationships, gradually learning to trust others, and exploring ways to build secure connections. Therapy can be a helpful tool in navigating these complex emotions, providing you with strategies to manage anxiety and fostering healthier relationships moving forward. Recognizing how your past affects your present is crucial, and with time, patience, and support, you can begin to reshape your attachment style.
HOW TO “LIGHTEN UP”
Becoming conscious of your breathing and your tone, the speed at which you are speaking can help you to notice your level of intensity. “Lightening up” can sound so simple but can be a challenging concept for those who thrive on “intensity” or actually do not know how to maintain “calmness”
Again, becoming self-aware of this pattern and making a conscious effort to '“breathe and to pause” can be very helpful. Before you speak you need to breathe and pause so you can make a choice to be in a calm state so that you are no longer making mountains out of molehills or escalating constantly but reprogramming your nervous system to “lighten up” yes to have some of the detachment and start to live a life that is not on constant '“hight threat alert”. A life where your tongue becomes a tree of life for healing for you and others and you become a light in darkness!
THE “RIGHT” NYC THERAPIST CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
So essential that the therapist you choose is the “right” therapist for yourself so that you no longer make fear your prophet!.I would be honored to walk along this healing journey with you and guide you with wisdom and knowledge and heart through this amazing process! Please give me a call so we can begin!