You may be noticing that you have developed a pattern of “avoiding” conflict and probably by now you are also noticing that the conflict that we avoid “runs” our lives. Depression is highly correlated to patterns of “avoidance” and these patterns when repeated can become extremely “rigid”. Rigidity or lack of flexibility also fuels depression.. You may have been raised in a family where you never saw or experienced how to resolve and address conflict and stay connected through the process with yourself and others.. In an attempt to survive in a chaotic family you began to shut down and avoid in an effort to protect yourself as you were not “safe” to be “you”.

Depression is “anger’ turned inward. You may be struggling with a battle of depression that hit suddenly or very likely there is a long-term pattern of “shaming and blaming yourself. And feeling ‘not good enough”. You may be feeling helpless and hopeless although in worldly terms “you have achieved success”. Your feelings of emptiness and lack of joy may now seem to be running all areas of your life. This your wake-up call to no longer neglect and ignore your pain but to learn how to give yourself the attention you so need in order the healing process to begin1

ARE YOU CONTINUALLY EXPECTING THE WORST OUTCOME AND CATASTROPHIZING AS YOU APPROACH SITUATIONS? WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?H OW YOU VIEW YOURSELF? IS THE GLUE IN YOUR ATTEMPT TO CONNECT WITH OTHERS THAT YOU BOTH MARINATE IN COMPLAINTS AND WORRIES ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND LACK INNER PEACE AND BELIEVE YOU ARE A VICTIM WITH LITTLE HOPE OR BELIEF OF CHANGE? ARE YOU FEELING EXHAUSTED AND DEPLETED PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY AS DEPRESSION TAKES HOLD OF YOU?

Do you feel like you are just pedaling in place and not moving forward?

Has making decisions and following through become extremely difficult for you?

Do you keep delaying and putting off what you know you need to address?

Do you “beat yourself up” and “ruminate” and feel “stuck” in this pattern?

Are you neglecting yourself inside and out as everything feels like a chore?

You may be so busy caring for others(family, friends work) that in the process you have become isolated and lonely as you have become accustomed to "NEGLECTING YOU" and now can no longer run away from the price you are paying for this.

Over the years have worked with so many people that have been severely depressed and one of the things they all have in common is how each one had developed a pattern of self defeating/shame based self talk which fueled their depression on an ongoing basis.

When we lose a love one it is so essential to have a time to grieve so that you can heal. During this process it is important that you be really honest with yourself about what you are feeling as well as to be able to express your emotions and not stuff them.

Are you experiencing grief and loss due to the death of a loved one or a  health or a relationship crisis and the depth of your sadness and hopelessness feels overwhelming? You may be dealing with a job loss or career change or financial issues and you are filled with  anxiety about the future.